I could only relax when there was just one tiny white last spot left. I could see more clearly. I could grasp the shape of the picture again… The pictures are alive because of the white remnant, the almost concealment.

Sometimes I had to force the overpainting of three corners almost without any feeling for shape, almost without inspiration, only to find my way back, to get out of this hell.

Only the four corners of the background remained. It was terribly difficult to fix my eyes on all of them at the same time. My experience was that the most difficult thing of all in art is painting in all four corners at the same time.

Only an ‘almost,’ a ‘nearly,’ is possible.

I have settled down in this border area; I am trying to find distinct standards of shape, and I long to experience, formulate, and evoke this dark, heavy, tranquillity.

… I felt like a new man; but I was disappointed with the photographic documentation because I still saw always the old self.