The day after my mom died I fly back to California and spend the three weeks before the California primary making arrangements for her cremation, planning and getting the house ready for a memorial service and covering political rallies in Southern California. The normalcy of work helps.

Real leadership is calm. Real leadership is steady in moments of crisis. It is not hysterical. It is not exploitive. It is not dishonest.

I got teary-eyed watching Mary J. Blige sing O Holy Night‘ at the ‘Christmas in Washington‘ concert.

Military families become familiar with trying to contort their lives around deployments and separations.

The Coast Guard evokes images of search and rescue operations, maybe during Hurricane Katrina, or guys jumping out of helicopters wearing snorkels and fins – and that’s accurate, but only part of the picture.

When I married into the military a few years ago, I was failing at navigating the realities of deployment alone. When I turned to the military family community, their tried and true coping skills changed my life.

My mom is my 3 A. M. phone call, my annual road trip buddy, the connective tissue between my father, sister and me – and one of the funniest people I know.

Something has to give during a deployment and for me it’s often punctuality.

I’ve spent most of my life like most Americans – without any immediate connection to active duty military.

Alright, let’s tackle the worst part of this pandemic: people are dying, or they’re worried about their loved ones dying – and it’s hard not to spiral out. After almost two decades at war, this has been the reality for military families for a very long time. Welcome to our club.

Working from home while caring for children seems impossible.

My dad served in the Australian Navy until I was a toddler.

If you only watched Fox News, you might think hydroxychloroquine is to coronavirus what Tylenol is to a headache, or that gathering in large crowds indoors without masks is safe.

Military families miss out on experiences that most civilian families do not: birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, funerals and even the births of their children.

Members of the military appear to be on this President‘s mind only when they serve a purpose. In Trump‘s case, that’s popularity by association.

Most employers see breaks in employment as a blemish on a resume. In the case of military spouses, however, it’s due to their frequent moves.

The White House wants us talking about racism and the justice system because they use it as a springboard to scare Americans about looting, aided by Fox News running episodes of violence on an incessant loop, that their hearts and minds won‘t be able to look past the fear to see injustice.

The United States Army is really messing with my plan to get pregnant.

It’s head-scratching, really, that the most prominent Army base in America is named for Braxton Bragg. He was on the wrong side of history, as a Confederate general and a slave owner.

Service members are more likely to have PTSD, but it’s common in the general population as well.

I feel oddly at peace with the ups and downs of pandemic life. They’re not too different from the ups and downs of deployment life, which I’ve experienced a lot the last few years as my husband, an Army Special Forces officer, has been overseas.

I’m honored to donate my time as an ambassador for Blue Star Families, the largest nonprofit organization serving active duty service members and their families through chapters in the U.S.

Misinformation is a virus unto itself. And Fox News is the vector.

In military families, the service member is frequently the breadwinner. Constant moves make steady employment a challenge for non-military spouses.

Military spouse employment is the issue that most people email me about when they are suggesting topics for me to cover in my Home Front‘ column.

My mom was the rock of our family.

At no time did I suggest that violence is justice, and I can’t believe I even have to explain that. But the alternative is letting someone like Kayleigh McEnany misquote and manipulate what you say. McEnany, who repeatedly lies to the American people.

You have to figure out what works for you as a parent, and it’s hard to do everything all at once.

We have to challenge lies. We have to challenge falsehoods and conspiracy theories. If you don’t, they fester – unchecked and unchallenged.

This is the hardest part of military family life – being away from each other.