Two of my fav pieces of wisdom from Phoebe: – Men are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, and those that aren’t are inaccessible. – Remember, it’s always better to be the smartass rather than the dumbass.

I have pictures of my daughter, in the hospital, at three seconds, six seconds, nine seconds, and then fifteen seconds, ‘cause dumbass couldn’t get the camera ready fast enough. Yeah, ha ha ha. She wrote that in the photo album.

Bashful=Spanish, Miss Gardenia Doc=Psychology, Mr. Wang Happy=Chemistry 2, Mr. Durbin Dopey=English Lit., Mr. Purcell Dippy=Math, Mrs. Craig Dumbass=PE, Coach Crater

I know plenty of hyper-intelligent metal people, but at the same time, there’s this dumbass, hardheaded, macho attitude associated with it. For younger people, it’s like a succubus.

And if you dont come back from the dorm, I’m the one who has to explain to Micheal how I let you go off and get yourself killed like a Dumbass. First rule in horror movies, Clair-Never split up!

I’d played dumbasses a lot. On Mad About You, I played a very dumb waitress and they saw me.

Yo, dumbass. What do you think she’d be doing with them? Giving them ballet lessons? (Darling) Tell me again why I can’t kill him? (Hauk) You’re afraid of handling explosives. (Nykyrian) One day I’m going to get over that and when I do…(Hauk) I’ll wisely stop annoying you. (Darling)

Hark, dumbass, the error is not to fall but to fall from no height. Don’t fall off a curb, fall off a cliff.

That ability to see the right choice, but not until several hours have passed since making the wrong one? That’s what makes a person a dumbass, folks.