Funny Birthday Card Quotes

Funny Birthday Card Quotes by Helen Hayes, Ogden Nash, Pope John XXIII, Germaine Greer, Maurice Chevalier, Lewis Carroll and many others.

Age is not important unless you‘re a cheese.
Helen Hayes
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
Ogden Nash
Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
Pope John XXIII
You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Germaine Greer
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
Maurice Chevalier
There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.
Lewis Carroll
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Bob Hope
They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.
Malcolm Cowley
Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Arthur Schopenhauer
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Mark Twain
Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
C. E. M. Joad
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Chili Davis
You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’
Jerry Seinfeld
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.
Jean Paul
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
Oscar Wilde
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
George Bernard Shaw
Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.
Franz Kafka
With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.
William Shakespeare
The best way to remember your wife‘s birthday is to forget it once.
Herbert V. Prochnow
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
John Glenn
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.
Theodore Roosevelt
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope
Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.
Victor Hugo
The best birthdays of all are those that haven‘t arrived yet.
Robert Orben
Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
Dorothy Parker
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball
Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.
Tom Wilson
The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
Pope Paul VI
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman‘s birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost