Funny Birthday Card Quotes

Funny Birthday Card Quotes by Helen Hayes, Ogden Nash, Pope John XXIII, Germaine Greer, Maurice Chevalier, Lewis Carroll and many others.

Age is not important unless you‘re a cheese.
Men are like winesome turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.
Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.
The best way to remember your wife‘s birthday is to forget it once.
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.
The best birthdays of all are those that haven‘t arrived yet.
Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.
The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman‘s birthday but never remembers her age.