If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.

At 16, I got a part-time job selling double-glazing door to door. That was soul destroying but the worst part-time job I did was at university working on reception in a sexually transmitted disease clinic. Because no one else wanted to do it, they paid ВЈ8 an hour.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent.

Ooh good I’ve got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

Abstinence-only education – the best STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) and pregnancy delivery system that politicians have ever devised.